Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The 'F' Word.


You dirty mind, you.

It doesn't change the fact that it's just as offensive as the other F word.

It my world, every festival includes the following:
* The mad rush to make murukkus, laddus and gulab jamun. Three days in advance.
*Waking up at un-Godly hours those three days.
*Me, inevitably waking up a good 3-4 hours late, all three days.
*Incurring the wrath/ annoyance/ impatience and finally acceptance by my mother-in-law.
*My husband desperately making excuses for me, trying to save his ass and mine.

This happens without fail, on all the two dozen festivals Hindus have every year. In the same exact order.
On the day of the actual festival though, I am always the one wondering what the whole point is.
Does leaving my hair open really cause bad luck? Does not having a bindi on cause problems in my marriage? And why call all the ladies home and give them stuff? What's wrong with the color black? Or white for that matter.
I know the point, but I don't get the logic. It's like a mindless thing I'm used to doing, because we did it forever.
I believe in a lot of things, but then I also don't believe in a lot of things. I know there's a solution, but I don't have the guts to implement it. So I do the only one thing I can, try and balance the situation.
Of course, festivals are an excellent reason for people to come together. I made up on many a failed relationship on account of Diwali, Dusshera and what have you. That final harmony after all the madness is probably the only thing that keeps me going year after year.

When someone said 'ignorance is bliss', they really weren't kidding.


  1. Haha Ignorance is indeed bliss :) Agreed about your points on festivals. What irks me most is that, the women of the house end up doing everything; cooking, cleaning etc etc for the entire gathering. How much ever 'fun' it is supposed to be, I feel its an extension of our gross patriarchal mindset. IMO, festivals would be more meaningful celebrations if everyone in the family pitched in equally.

    May be in that case the women need not wake up 3-4 hrs earlier and slog in front of a hot stove preparing delicacies for the entire family. Mother, daughter, DIL, everyone including :)

    Personally for me, any day can be equally good to get together with loved ones and celebrate life. There is no need of celebrating 10 different festivals for that reason. Than again I can say this because I am so far away from all this back home. Parents and in-laws have equally given up on the husband and I celebrating any festivals or rituals. Though I make it a point to cook some good Indian food over the weekend :) Would be interesting so see how our lives change if we get back to India one fine day.

    1. That's very true. Everyday can be a day to get together and celebrate life. But festivals are like these assigned days where you HAVE to celebrate the togetherness irrespective of your physical state, atleast at my house it is. I might sit one out if I'm sick but my MIL will not, especially the firsts. First Diwali after marriage, first dusshera and so on.
      It's hard to follow all the rituals even when you live in the same city as your parents, let alone a different country.
      I can tell you would enjoy all this if you were in India though, 'cos no matter how exhausting, it sometimes truly is worth it in the end !