Wednesday, February 25, 2015

I'm 27! Or 28? Fuck.

This is going to be one whiny post. If you're that person who's always happy and shiny, please excuse yourself from this page. Also, please see a shrink.

Today is my birthday, 26th or 27th one I think. I stopped counting when I turned 19. True to being a Pisces, I've always hated attention, even if it came on my birthday. Each time, I would struggle to hide away and have a quiet celebration at home or go out with only a select set of people I'm very comfortable with. I mean, to me it's just another day. I existed yesterday, I will exist today and I will tomorrow as well, so what's all the fuss about? That's always my take on birthdays.

Until now.

For the first time, I was well and truly alone when the clock struck 12 (no, my family did not abandon me, I moved to a different country). There was no one I could sit with and bitch about the previous year. In person at least, my phone on the other hand was having violent seizures.

Birthdays are special people. It is the day you came into being. The cause for all the effect. It's needs to be celebrated. Not super extravagantly or anything, unless you're into that kind of thing. If nothing, at least have a pity party and a quiet drink. Like I did. And then write about it.

Like I did.

If you're lucky, you may actually have the strength to get through the day without feeling the pressure to make it amazing. Special only in your heart and in the hearts of those who matter.

As for me, today, for the first time, I feel alone.

So alone.

P.S. I know it's just a state of mind blah, blah, yada, yada. I get to have the feels once in a while, ok?

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