Monday, June 16, 2014

Apostrophe Apocalypse.

What is with people using an apostrophe for plural words?
It's everywhere - social media, emails and even professional resumes, I kid you not!

When in doubt, google the damn thing. Don't just add an apostrophe by default, it doesn't make everything grammatically correct. 

Excerpt from a brilliant resume -

"SPOC for all agent's and manager's spread across 16 countries spread in 4 major location's"

I am not even talking about the chronic absence of the commas in this sentence. That validates a different post altogether.

In honor of all these idiots..I'll just leave this image right here.


Image source :

Sunday, June 15, 2014

We Indians Are SO Weird!

So I was scrolling through my FB timeline in the usual mindless fashion and I came across this post one of my 'friends' copied. So, I have no shame re-copying it and am in fact glad this exists.

Points to note that ALL Indians do/ believe in. I am guilty of most of these, some as recent as today!

1. Every Indian bachelor wants to marry a fair girl.

2. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door. But the female runs for her dupatta.

3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport / railway station) is an important family affair.

4. We thrive on street food and we don't get sick.

5. Every Indian mother has 2 careers - Working / Housewife + Match Making.

6. We have all had secret boyfriends / girlfriends. We don’t care about them cheating on us but we dread getting caught by each others parents.

7. Indian girls have 3 type of brothers. Real brother, Cousin brother, Rakhee brother.

8. The bride must cry at her Vidai. She has no business looking happy.

9. We go on cleaning sprees only during Diwali or when we have guests coming over.

10. However old we are, our parents need to know every detail of our schedule. Daily. No excuses. No exemption.

11. When Indian parents buy tickets, every child becomes under 12. Getting a half ticket is a huge victory!

12. If we live in another city and don't call our Mom daily , she’ll freak out and call all our friends to make sure we are alive.

13. We get embarrassed in front of our parents even when the word “sex” is written on a Form to specify gender.

14. No other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining. “Chalo bhaiya . Na tera na mera. Itne paise theek hain.”

15. Doesn't matter if we are Convent educated. When we are actually angry, we switch to highly effective, dirty, swear words in our mother tongue.

16. We spend more time talking to guests at the door when they are leaving than while sitting in the living room.

17. Why to change the remote batteries when you can just slap the shit out of the remote and make it work?

18. Meeting a person with the same surname is like finding a long lost twin

So true, innit? Again, this isn't my writing and exists mainly due to the miracle of Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V

P.S. If the original author reads this, let me know, I will be happy to link it to your original piece.