Bloody, Sparkling Confetti - Part 3

This post has been looong pending.
I've somehow kept up over the last two years with updating what I did/ didn't do for the New Year's eve. I gotta say, the welcoming of New Year 2014 has been the best yet. Why, you ask? Lets go over a quick check list.

Partied away from my home city? - Check
Partied all night? - Check
Kick-ass fireworks when the clock stuck 12? - Check
Hugged the love of your life at 12? - Check
Danced till 6 am? - Check

There were a few side affects to all this of course. Hubby had to fend off all the men and ladies *gasp* hitting on me the whole time. But considering that we were in Goa, everything that happens there is the new 'normal'. Then, there was this horrible aching in my feet the whole of that week, and returning to work was a terrible ordeal in itself.

When I look back at the Part 2 of this post, I am not very surprised at how morbid I sounded a year ago. Miserable that I felt, I did move on. The world is a bad place and there is little space for the honest to live in. But that does not mean we give up. We fight the good fight and hope for the best. There are still days where I feel I've hit rock bottom but I look around and see the ones I love. That is reason enough to wake up everyday and give it another shot.

2013 has been a year of successes and let downs, just like every year. And so, that is exactly what I am prepared for this year as well. After all, what is life without some sugar and spice? Though, as an after thought - more of sugar, less of spice please, thanks very much.

P.S. - I still can't get over how grown-up I sound!

I Am A Big Girl Now. I Think.

I've been gone so long. There is no excuse. Well there is - Life.
Life is my excuse.

That being said, I'm back. For the time being at least..

So much has happened over the last few months. I settled nicely into the new job. I even finished a whole year here. Looking at this post, I was pretty sure I'd have another job on my resume within weeks, no matter how optimistic that post sounded. But I stayed, so hooray!

But the point of this post is to note how far I've come. Besides, it's the end of another year, what else is there to do? The difference dawned on me when my organisation hired a bunch of trainees right out of college. I realized I was looking down my nose on them and was super annoyed by their enthusiasm. Yes, annoyed because they had so much energy. Maturity, not so much.

So I've decided to make a list of things that prove that I'm no longer the-little-girl-trying-to-act-grown-up but am rather quickly on my way to turning into an old hag.

1) I've gotten used to being comfortable. There was a time when I used to get fidgety in about 5 seconds, but now the boredom is just replaced with comfort in routine. Scary, I know.

2) Loud music hurts my head sometimes. My younger self would dance all day, everyday to any kind of music. But now, your's truly needs the following for enjoy herself at a night out - right kind of drinks, the right crowd, the right ambiance, the right lighting, the right music, the right company, the right DJ..you get the point right?

3) The ideal way to spend my evening would be with a ...hold your breath - A book.

You may now exhale.

4) I have absolutely NO time for anything. A massage, a sudden meeting with a friend, or any activity that is not planned a few weeks in advance. It's a straight up, simple 'no'. Any free time I have is spent as per point # 3 mentioned above.

5) I am perfectly alright spending the night in my jammies and a sweatshirt, cuddled up on the sofa, on a Saturday! There was a time when that horrified me. I would worry about my Saturday night plans starting right from Monday morning. Now I don't make my Saturday night plans, even on a Saturday. That being said, I am still dragged to parties and I'm constantly looking at my phone for an excuse to cop out of them.

6) Movies bore me. I've seen them all. Movie plots seem to repeat themselves in an endless loop and I couldn't be bothered to see if this one's any different.

7) Every time I see an early-20-something-somebody act cocky, I don't react. I just wait for them to trip on their own laces 'cos I know exactly what's coming at them next. I also realize this is how the world felt when I was an early-20-something-somebody. *insert smug look here*

8) I am excellent at make-up. Enough said.

9) 'Fun' is replaced by just being happy. I truly value the feeling of 'peace'. It's hard to come by and if it does, it doesn't last long.

10) And lastly, I have only a handful of people I call friends and family. Everyone else has simply been eliminated by vices.

All this boils down to one thing - I am happy. Not satisfed, but happy.

I'm still not okay with little girls calling me 'aunty'.Thankfully, no one has started to. Yet.

P.S. I still love shopping till I'm broke. I said I've grown up, not transitioned into a man. Lets not get carried away.

Blind Woman's Bluff - Kiddie Wars

You know those people that look at you in irritation when your kids are trampling around the mall in their squeaky shoes? I am one of them.

I really have nothing against kids (I find they are adorable in spite of the mass destruction they cause); I totally have it against parents that can't control their wards. Every time I decide to have a meal in peace, even breakfast for heavens sake, there is a huge family that walks in. Four uncles, four aunties, one- two difficult teenage girls and at least four kids out of which three take it on themselves to kick the waiter in his shins and drop all the forks. The last one simply sits there bawling his lungs out.

*massaging my headache*

I make it my business to stay away from noisy kids. (I know, I know. How far can I run, right?)
To my enormous surprise, turns out I'm actually good with them, one at a time that is.

This other day,we went to a cousins house who had a 4-5 year old boy. He's the kind that beat up your kid and is responsible for all the bite marks on the other boys. If you have the audacity to ask why he bites other boys, his nonchalant response would be, 'Becuzz my teeths are sharrp'.
For the un-initiated, I am a Telugu, married to a Tamilain..so I understand a select few words of the language.

I knew I had to break the ice or I'd forever be that chitthi* that never talks. Believe me when I tell you, the four year old gave me the attitude only deserving of the Prince of Prussia. I tried making friends with him for a good one hour and the bugger refused to even look at my face. Then he stopped being adamant and turned shy instead.
So I changed tactics. I ignored him. I mean, I looked at him and then turned away with an amused smile on my face. Slowly, he got his face out of the pillow and got out of his bed. Then he went and hid behind the door, peeping whenever he heard me speaking to his mom. After about 20 minutes of this, he sneaked up to me, hit my hand, yelled 'hallo' and promptly ran away.
His mom looked at me and she's like, 'He's not a shy kid, wtf is wrong with him?'

After about another hour, he figured I don't bite and came up to me. He grabbed my hand and he goes, 'I have soooo many toys, you can play if you want'. I know this is a total drawn out 'awwww' moment but by now I'm exhausted trying to figure out this kid.
I went with the flow instead and by the end of the evening we became such great friends that he decided he'd abandon his parents.
He dad asked him , 'Who's party are you on? Mummy party or daddy party'.
He's like, 'Illa, chitthi party'.**

Buhahahaha!



*chitthi = aunt
**'Illa, chitti party' - 'No, aunt's party.'

What the hell is wrong with Indian men?!

Ever since I was old enough to make my choices, (you know, selecting what chutney I want with my idli and what topping I wanted on my ice-cream) I was/ am the object of contempt/ chagrin to many a bald uncle and shiny saree adorned aunty because 'unorthodox' is written all over my name. Of course, I was the one to ask awkward questions, like openly pondering where babies came from or being the one to talk extra loud just because everyone was deeply meditating to an idol. I wouldn't go as far as to call it 'make-believe'. Imagine the kind of storm I'd kick up. Definitely not 'make-believe'. I'm thinking you'll get my point if I say 'make-believe' often enough. 'Make-believe'

Anyways.

My ranting today doesn't have anything to do with bald uncles and shiny aunties.
Picture this, you're at your new job, you're also the only girl in a roomful of guys ( remember those smart choices I was talking about?). Obviously, this doesn't bother you because you've been a neon sign-board all your life. There's a round of introduction and hand-shaking going on. The first guy comes around hand-shaking and you're next. One of these three things happen.

1. He awkwardly retracts his hand 'cos he's too shy/ conservative to shake your hand.
2. He skips you all together.
3. And this one's the worst, he bravely offers his hand, but NEVER all the way.

It's like half a handshake. Don't even talk about eye-contact. Me, being the neon board that I am, thrust my hand out all the way, and this guy grabs only the tips of my fingers and abruptly retracts his hand like I bit him. I wish I had.

You know what I feel like doing at this point?
Run in the opposite direction. Screaming.

Believe it or not, this has happened more times than I can count. No, not the screaming part.
Indian men either put a woman on a pedestal and bow before her, or treat her like a freaking commodity they own. What in the world happened to finding a balance? A stupid effing handshake doesn't amount to physical abuse. And no, we don't bite.

India is a land of many exotic wonders. Indian men, darling, for most part are not one of them*.


*None of this includes my husband. Teeheee! He's adorable. Really.

Of Misters And The Methanol

You know, if I weren't married, I'd probably be that girl bitching about how all my friends are married.

I mean, what is it with women and the need to belong anyway? Half the women I know are married just because the other half are. And the ones that aren't, are usually are getting drunk and cheering in bars because they really have nothing to cheer about.

I'm sorry, was that offensive?

Good.

Oh and the string of destructive boyfriends! I asked this particular friend of mine who had a jerk for a boyfriend about why she puts up with his non-sense. Seriously, this guy left her stranded in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night! Without batting an eyelid, she says, "I love him, we even went to this wedding together."
Really. That's what you're going with? Come on. Come on!

I know I sound silly and oxy-moronic that I'm married and I'm bitching about women that are getting married thinking this is what I'd do if I weren't married but I'm not. Silly that is. I am oxy-moronic.

My head hurts too.

Wait, I know I had a point in there somewhere.
The point is, ladies, don't settle. Don't put up with shit, in the name of love and other non-sense.

If you've been reading so far looking for a profound ending, congratulations. You've only ended up with barf post all the methanol.
Ew.
I did not need that picture in my head before I went to bed. On that note, bon nuit.

P.S. - Note that I've labelled 'cancer' on this post. Yes, it is that bad.
P.P.S. - I'm also that lazy to look up the correct spelling for 'bon nuit'.

Married and happy !

It's not always that a girl gets married off to the man of her dreams, to settle into happy woman-hood (if such a thing exists). Contrary to what people believe, it doesn't change a lot of things.
For one, I still run from massive hugs given out for free by elders. Elders, like my parents, specially my parents.
Now, don't mistake me for a heart-less person, I enjoy hugs, I do. But not once every 7-8 minutes.

My folks came over, the first month after my wedding. By now, me and my husband had started living on our own. So, they came over, I made chai, some dinner while I chatted with them, etc. etc. Its one of those times when your parents feel proud of everything you do, like, how incredible the chai tastes. Or how good I got at making dal and how neat the house is. Every such compliment is succeeded with a big hug from dad. That's too much, even for a daughter who missed her folks terribly.

Then it finally happened, I snapped! It was 6 am and I was woken up by my dog barking. Also, my dad was on the phone, talking so loud, he didn't need the phone at all for the other person to hear him. I woke up with my eyes burning, only to be spotted by my dad. He rushed over, wanting to give me a goooodd-mooorning hug and I panicked! I jumped on the bed, hopped all the way across the 4 poster, jumped down to the floor, tripped over my dog's tail and nearly fell over. I stumbled across the dog and managed to run out of the room. Then, I stood at the door and a thought flashed across my mind, "What did I just do?"

By now, I was more worried about what my dad would feel, did I hurt him? What was he thinking?
Silence, for maybe 15 seconds..and then he burst out laughing. My mom,who was watching all this, cracked up at the same time. They laughed uproariously for about 15 minutes. Then, dad stopped to wipe his tears of mirth and said -
"Come here you!!"
And I sheepishly went to give him that hug he wanted.