We Indians Are SO Weird!

So I was scrolling through my FB timeline in the usual mindless fashion and I came across this post one of my 'friends' copied. So, I have no shame re-copying it and am in fact glad this exists.

Points to note that ALL Indians do/ believe in. I am guilty of most of these, some as recent as today!

1. Every Indian bachelor wants to marry a fair girl.

2. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door. But the female runs for her dupatta.

3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport / railway station) is an important family affair.

4. We thrive on street food and we don't get sick.

5. Every Indian mother has 2 careers - Working / Housewife + Match Making.

6. We have all had secret boyfriends / girlfriends. We don’t care about them cheating on us but we dread getting caught by each others parents.

7. Indian girls have 3 type of brothers. Real brother, Cousin brother, Rakhee brother.

8. The bride must cry at her Vidai. She has no business looking happy.

9. We go on cleaning sprees only during Diwali or when we have guests coming over.

10. However old we are, our parents need to know every detail of our schedule. Daily. No excuses. No exemption.

11. When Indian parents buy tickets, every child becomes under 12. Getting a half ticket is a huge victory!

12. If we live in another city and don't call our Mom daily , she’ll freak out and call all our friends to make sure we are alive.

13. We get embarrassed in front of our parents even when the word “sex” is written on a Form to specify gender.

14. No other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining. “Chalo bhaiya . Na tera na mera. Itne paise theek hain.”

15. Doesn't matter if we are Convent educated. When we are actually angry, we switch to highly effective, dirty, swear words in our mother tongue.

16. We spend more time talking to guests at the door when they are leaving than while sitting in the living room.

17. Why to change the remote batteries when you can just slap the shit out of the remote and make it work?

18. Meeting a person with the same surname is like finding a long lost twin

So true, innit? Again, this isn't my writing and exists mainly due to the miracle of Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V

P.S. If the original author reads this, let me know, I will be happy to link it to your original piece.

Over cooked maggie and blogging

After reading a few hundred blogs posted by random folk, I figured, well, this isn't so bad after all.
Here's how I came about this un-usual miracle.

For years now, I had maintained a journal of sorts on my PC, hidden under a folder-under-folder-under folder. I always wrote my everyday updates in there and was horrified by the idea of someone reading it. Nevertheless, it included a lot of name calling, so everyone's better off not reading it.
I remember opening a blog page with no enthusiasm anyway and my first post happened like ages ago. Boring.
So I sat at my desk considering all possible ways of killing/ murdering time (I've thought and executed several ideas like junk-eating, staring off at my screen, staring off into space, looking at my schedule several times, playing with yellow sponge ball and what not), when I finally decided, "its time."
But wait, a girl's gotta eat first.
Well, Sunday being Sunday, the whole world, inculding my office cafeteria thinks morons like me who work on weekends dont need to eat. The only thing even remotely edible that can be eaten was - Maggie noodles.
Now there are several ads and people who are willing vouch that maggie can be the yummiest fast food in time of need. I beg to differ, I'm sick of it. I think it tastes like salted batter at times, but hey, beggars cant really be choosers.
So went down, got the Maggie-making guy to make some for me.
"Thoda juicy banana" I told him, he looked at me like I asked him to donate his virginity. And no, "banana" here doesnt mean the fruit metaphor, I meant "banana" in Hindi as in "make".
He gave me a half-smile and proceeded to add a bowlful of water to the already cooked maggie. Ugh !
I came back to my desk and opened the I've-forgotten-this-blog-and-am-never-gonna-open-it-again page once more. Lo-behold ! Here I am.
Half way through the over-cooked maggie, I decided I cant eat this crap anymore but it got me through my almost-first blog. Ha!

Done for now and hopefully, I'll be back soon to follow-up on this.